RSS

Archive for the ‘1 Horrorscopes/Monday’ Category

August 24th, 2009 - 5:51 am § in 1 Horrorscopes/Monday, Archives

Horrorscopes – August 24-August 30

  By Nova Clawtooth - Aries – Life is a stick…and you’re the piñata. Virgo – Big wheel keeps on turning…your crotch keeps on burning. Refill your meds. Taurus – Finances and love are in overwhelming abundance this week…for your friends. You realize you ARE the ugly one of the gr[...]

August 17th, 2009 - 5:08 am § in 1 Horrorscopes/Monday, Archives

Horrorscopes – August 17-August 23

By Nova Clawtooth - Aries – You hear that sucking sound?  That’s your life… Virgo – Money, power and respect are the keys to life.  You are SO locked out Taurus – Don’t listen to what people say! You’re not old, you’re young compared to a lot of things! Dirt, rocks, trees… Capri[...]

August 10th, 2009 - 6:17 am § in 1 Horrorscopes/Monday, Archives

Horrorscopes – August 10-August 16

By Nova Clawtooth - Aries – You realize that there can’t be any winners without losers.  The good news is at least you’re good at your role – loser. Virgo – Money becomes a problem this week, just like last week and the week before that.  At this point being broke is a hobby. Taurus –[...]

August 3rd, 2009 - 6:29 am § in 1 Horrorscopes/Monday, Archives

Horrorscopes – August 3-August 9

By Nova Clawtooth - Aries – You will think your cat has been stolen, but in fact it’s just stuck in your wall. Prepare to play an expensive game of “Here kitty kitty kitty” Virgo – That’s not chocolate. Don’t eat it. Taurus – Two heads are better than one. Especially if one of the h[...]

July 27th, 2009 - 10:55 am § in 1 Horrorscopes/Monday, Archives

Horrorscopes – July 27–August 2

By Nova Clawtooth Aries – There’s plenty of everything you don’t need this week.  People are quick to insult you, and your incompetency at most things you attempt becomes painfully obvious.  Spoil your only friend, buy yourself something nice.  Virgo – Getting out of bed is not suggested[...]

July 20th, 2009 - 11:59 am § in 1 Horrorscopes/Monday, Archives

Horrorscopes – July 20–July 26

By Nova Clawtooth - Aries – Find happiness in knowing that life will not always suck this bad! One day you’ll die! Avoid eating cheese and leafy greens, you’ll confuse your bowels and be all messed up. Taurus – Love and romance will blossom in your life this week! The love will be between y[...]

July 13th, 2009 - 4:35 pm § in 1 Horrorscopes/Monday, Archives

Horrorscopes – July 13-19

By Nova Clawtooth –   Aries – Take time to bathe today.  Others do not appreciate your odor as much as you enjoy it.  Be very careful how you spend your money, singles wasted on strippers are one less candy bar from the vending machine.  Love is a battlefield.   Taurus – Find new fri[...]